The day after is the same

Christmas was yesterday and I still feel lazy today because there is stuff I want to do and need to do but I feel as though I have no energy or any desire to do it.

So my mom called yesterday to wish a merry christmas to us all. It was the first time that I talked to her ever since I got married in september. I am hoping that she will be here for the birth of my daughter. Im hoping and then im not because I dont know if she will show up at all.
What annoys me is when people tell me that I shouldnt expect anything from her at all because she has hurt me in the past,so why should she come. I mean come on she is my mom I want to at least try,dont shoot down my ideas or my happiness of wanting too.

It rained a lot yesterday and the wind blew about 34 or more miles per hour. So our nicely decorated yard with stuff sticking into the ground like the glow butterfly on a stick,is now laying on the ground probally bent and broken.But at least to day is sunny so we dont have to worry about bundling ourselves up in hot clothes and we can just wear something comfortable. More like me wearing something comfortable,nothing ever fit me lately,until I got maternity clothes yesteday for christmas,so I will wear them today and test them out but I am sure they will be ok,I needed some clothes for my growing belly

We are going to town to day to go to the library and take jeffreys books back and I need to also take some stuff back too.

Well I have to go and get dressed now and do my hair hahah,just got out of the shower and if I dont do anything with it,it will turn into a fuzzy mop!

Merry Christmas Eve...!

So today is the day that people would call and consider Christmas Even,The day before Christmas.

We have got all our shopping done and we finished it today. Grandma always tells us each year,what we didnt get for christmas we could get afterwards.

There is a lot of things that I am thankful for this year

I am thankful for my Husband Sean.
Honey if you get a chance to read this, Know that I love you, and I am glad to have you by my side for the rest of my life. I dont know what I would do with out you. I will always love and cherish you, I am thankful for you and all you have done for me and what you will do for me in the future. You are a kind and gentle person and I am grateful to have known you as a friend,boyfriend,fiance and now my Husband. I am so glad to have you in my life. Know that I love you and our Daughter Emma,Even though she isnt here yet loves you too . I wish you could be here with me right now, I hope you will be safe while you are away from me at the moment.
We wish you a Merry Christmas and Grandma Sends her love your way . Know that you are surrounded by your family and friends who love and care for you.
Love Your Wife Crista.

I am grateful to have my Grandparents in my life,they have been with me ever since I was born and I am glad to live with them right now,they have taken care of My sister and I for many years and I love them very much.

I love my sister Jessica,Even thought we may fight and say cruel words to each other,I hope she knows that I love her and that I am always here for her.

So my little cousin keeps getting into trouble and we keep telling him that if he isn't good santa wont come at all, after we told him that he started listening to us. But that doesn't mean he wont always stay good,I give it after tommorow.

I have wanted to start trying to at least blog once a day ,every day. I have things to write,it is just how to get the words out of my head,and let me hands on the keyboard do the talking.
I know it isnt good to hold your anger frustrations and sadness inside,so im not going to try to do that anymore and if blogging can help me relieve my mind then I will. Because it seems to be a online journal,that I can share with my friends and they can know how I am feeling and they can give me some good advice.

I talked to sean today,he is doing good. He is going to his dads for christmas,who is my father in law.He left today from Fort Leonord Wood where he has been at to go to the airport and stay at one of their rooms for the night,so he can fly out to pennsylvania in the morning. He will be there from tommorow until January 2nd,and then he goes back to have more dental work done before he can fly out of the states. I hope that they dont make him wait to long to go over to korea,because I want and am hoping he will be here for the birth of our daugher Emma. But he has already been told that is had been confirmed that he will fly over. Maybe it he stays for a while at Fort Leonord Wood,he wont have go over there at all right now. I dont know,we will see.
It is great to hear his voice on the phone and text him when we get the chance. .He wishes he could be here for me and at home for christmas,instead of being so far away and it is making him sad. He could have been here,but he got a smallpox shot and that hindered him until january to see me because im pregnant ,But I know things will get better,it is good that he is getting to see his dad for christmas,instead of being stuck in som barracks.

We went to vegas today and that was a long drive down there and back. What I hate the most is when we have to go to the Veterans Affairs Mental Health Clinice,we go their because my grandpa needs to see a doctor,and that place creeps me out. The way that the other patients look at you. No I am not racist or prejudice,but I wish they would leave me ALONE!

I was really hungry by the time we had gotten done with the clinic stuff. We had dinner at olive garden and I think that was the most I have ever eaten their in all the times I have eaten at a olive garden,but it was good.

I think I am going to go to bed for the night, Im tired,my back and my sides hurt . Haha the joys of being pregnant.

Missing...

I keep counting down the days until I can see sean again. I remember the longest I have gone without seeing sean was last year and that was two months or 87 days,so almost two months and a half.
Why does it seem so hard for me to deal with him being gone right now, I mean things are a little different and yes we are married but it seems harder then it was last time. Maybe because the last time he left, we werent married and I wasnt pregnant.
I can deal with him being gone,I know that I have to be strong about it and I know he will come back to see me,but I dont want to have to wait till April to see him again.

There are Wives or even Husbands that go a year with out seeing their spouses that are in the military,and my granmda was one of the,because my grandpa was in the air force and always gone.

But I seem to be a chicken when it comes to being away from people or my Husband.

Jabberwocky

Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun The frumious Bandersnatch!"
He took his vorpal sword in hand: Long time the manxome foe he sought --So rested he by the Tumtum tree, And stood awhile in thought.
And, as in uffish thought he stood, The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,Came whiffling through the tulgey wood, And burbled as it came!
One, two! One, two! And through and through The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!He left it dead, and with its head He went galumphing back.
"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy!O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy.
`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe.

*~Christmas is here~*

Ok so lately I have not been able to figure out what to write on my blog, I think of things that I do want to write,then never get around to doing it.Maybe it was because I was wallowing in my sadness that I had from missing my Husband,I do miss him and wish he was here for the holidays,but I will get to see him soon and most of the deep sadness has passed.
So the other day we put up our christmas tree which took almost 2 hours to do because of many reasons.
1- It is one of those fake trees were you have to take it down and put it up limb by limb
2- You have to put all the lights on it
3- You have to put everyone ornament that is in this house on it.
4- This isnt really a reason,but I thought I would add it for keeps. I have never had a real tree before,dont know if I want one or not,but it is better then cleaning up pine needles all the time.


It was fun putting it up,My sister and I put it up every year toghther and then take it down.

It looks pretty sitting in our front room all lit up, I like the colors of the lights and the way they look at night.

I wish every year that christmas wouldnt be over,but then again I look forward to it the next year to come.

"Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all"
Charm is Deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her the reward she had earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
Proverbs. 31: 29-31, NIV

Sad and Lonely

I miss my Husband. He is going over seas and I miss him because it feels so quiet and boring without him here. The bed feels empty at night because I can't roll over to him next to me, or being able to put my arm around him right now. Its hard to sleep because im used to him here. I know it will only be for a month and a half before I see him,but im not used to him being away for a while.Before we got married he was away longer to go to AIT,but it feels different now. I think that every army wife feels that way when her husband is gone,but they get used to it. I know I will get used to it.Just to hear his voice on the phone makes me day when he calls me. It will get better,I will feel better, just give it a few days and I will.